First weeks in Bradford

Photo captions:

Aiden is NOT a happy camper

Aiden feeding ducks o the canal in Skipton. Note little black duck with white neck, Aiden's "friend"

Aiden enjoying the canal.

Aiden in the Bradford park. Behind him girls celebrate Eid.

Sept 14, 2009

So after that last update, some THREE months ago I’ve had to do some serious reckoning. The truth is that I was a bit horrified (understatement) by Bradford, England and its serious lack of anything kid friendly. I dipped into depression. Then I tried with all my power to switch campuses. Still nothing. My depression deepened. My lung funk kicked in. I fell sick for a week. Depressed, depressed, depressed. Finally I decided that I’d gotten this far, was this close to a Masters degree, and really, it couldn’t be THAT bad, could it??? Chin up, missie. And on Sept 9^th I boarded a plane to Bradford, England. A week and a two days later we moved to our flat, in the center of downtown Bradford – Uber urban jungle, with not a blade of grass for miles. Our flat is really quite nice with light wooden floors and lots of light, a definite necessity for those long, dark, cold days that await us. “Flat”. Note the Britishism already in full swing. After Aiden’s first visit to the nursery he ran to tell me he’d eaten a chocolate “bisquit”. read: cookie. Beware fellow Yankees: it happens fast. Aiden has had his own struggles with adjustment, which are manifesting mostly in the physical. Within a day or so of our arrival Aiden started to develop a crazy itchy rash on his torso that eventually made its way down to his feet. The doc said he had tonsillitis and recommended antibiotics cause that’s what they do here for most stuff, she said. On advice from home docs I gave him ibuprofin, Tylenol, Benadryl and spent hours rubbing calendula gel on is back at night. Once the itching stopped the vomiting began. Poor guy should be immune to it all by now! And that’s just his physical state. I never imagined that a two-year-old could show depression but Aiden did, and it took some time to get him out. In fact yesterday was the first day when he acted like a normal, happy kid again. Hallelujah. So I feel like we’re finally on course again. Tomorrow we begin our nursery visits, which were delayed due to Aiden’s illness. The setting looks good and the children quite baby-like next to Aiden, but fine for company. Meanwhile, I’ll begin the project of looking for missing homeware, signing up for medical cards and on Thursday registering for classes. Don’t know which ones as there is no information about this Masters course. Nothing. It’s crazy. I’ve been known to jump feet first into things I know little about but this tops most everything that’s come before.

A nice note is that one new friend here who I can see may become a dear friend is from Basra, Iraq. Aiden is in love..

So that’s it for now. And no telling when I’ll have internet to post all these. Already we are behind. Such is life.

A few things I found: that when things say “No Sugar Added”, it only means there’s sucralose or some other nasty sugar substitute involved.

When we were invited to “dinner” somewhere I said it was too late and we had to go home. But they meant lunch. So what does one say for the meal at night, I ask? That’s “tea”. In my country tea is something we drink… and speaking of tea, try finding some lovely herbal bedtime tea and you're out of luck!

Sept 22

First official sighting of wildlife: a squirrel, running near a tree, in a park. A real park! Soon after followed by Aiden’s first big rat sighting. Is that also considered wildlife? Will have to consult.

Sept 25

Oh boy... well, Aiden's visits to daycare have gone from bad to worse. Today he screamed hysterically for 45 minutes until they ran to get me in the waiting room because he had turned purple. Let's just say it's not working very well. Part of me just wants to trust Aiden on this one, but I'm not entirely certain where to turn next, and I'm trying not to freak out that classes start next week. That said, he has fallen head over heels in love (wanda style) with this wonderful Iraqi woman we met so I'll try to register her help. She stayed with him while I signed up for classes (for a small fortune, I might add) and within a day Aiden was saying he loved Lubna (or Luna as he calls her), and "missed her." Amazing. So I'd love for her to do more, even though she has no experience with kids. And not sure where the funding will come from. But she's very Christian and says that God will find a way. More likely I'll find a way, but I'm sure there's a little God in there somewhere!

Otherwise, my fellow students seem pretty cool. I think there are a couple other Americans in the mix of 100 or so, but most others are from Africa and Asia (Pakistan). In fact “Asian” here refers to Indian, Pakistani and Middle Easterners. What we call Asian, they call Oriental. I thought Oriental was a rug, but whatever.

Our apartment is still sweet but feeling very far away from everything. Good thing is today I was able to get a new buggy to replace my fabu jog stroller destroyed in transit by the airline. This will make hoofing around Bradford a bit easier, especially when those frigid "sleet storms" kick in. The recent winds have given a hint of what's to come and it's NOT pretty.

Wish I had time for a run to London but the cost and time to get there makes it less feasible than I was initially imagining. Guess those weekend runs will be fewer than expected. But already feeling the time pass, and if Aiden can get comfortable with someone I know I'll jump in with both feet and love it. And then we'll pack up next summer and head off again. Ugh.

Sept 27

Today is another day and I’ve decided it’s all going to work out. Not sure how, but it’s going to work out. Lubna will stay with Aiden tomorrow while I attend a library visit and a meeting with my advisor, and then the following day classes begin in earnest.

I’ll try to visit another nursery but the email I received was in very poor English so wondering how the spoken language will be. Then again, I’m looking for warmth and comfort for aiden. Right now that feels more important than anything. So what if they don’t speak English? Urdu may come in handy in a couple of years.

As the wee one sings from the bedroom (it’s 9:30 at night and he refuses to sleep) I’ll update the weekend. On Friday we had our first big night out. I strapped Aiden to my back and headed over to campus to celebrate 20 years of activism on the part of Chris Howsen, a local Reverend and our hands down best friend and resource since we arrived. The room was full of lovely people, and amazing stories. Chris is very involved with helping refugees and asylum seekers, and he doesn’t seem to have a moment of calm with all the people who seek him out. I feel a little guilty also seeking his time, but he and his wife are the only other parents I know of with small children and so we spend as much time at their pad as possible. Aiden is quite fond of his two girls.

We made it to a puppet festival on Saturday where the highlights for A included a giant paper mache musk ox, and a cup of reconstituted giant prawns with garlic. Ew. I’ve decided that Skipton is a wonderful little town and I’m so glad I’m now familiar with it. A was thrilled to see his old friend the little black duck. (long story)

Oh! How could I forget? we ran into our first full on gang fight type thing! A group of kids were coming back from a football game in Leeds and another group was waiting in Bradford. Usually there are police officers at every station following a game, I was later told. Unfortunately, there was no such security at bradford. So when the train stopped a flood of guys streamed out of the parking lot with bats and broken bottles and attacked the kids getting off the train. Aiden and I arrived just as the fury had abated and the yelling seemed ordinary enough that I just gingerly stepped around the confrontation. I even brushed aside the fact that pools of blood covered the floor of the train (“I recognize the look of that liquid,” I thought to myself. “Maybe that’s just common in Bradford trains…”) and tried to navigate Aiden’s stroller into a dry patch. When I finally focused and took in the drama around me I saw a victim holding his head and his friends calling for an ambulance. I think just a surface wound but quite a dramatic result. Police came, testimonies were taken, my train was more than a half hour late and on we went to our puppet festival. Welcome to Bradford.